hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize