me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
