Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
