WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
