So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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