When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
