Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
