you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
