I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
