32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
