They should really pass out barf bags in church
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
