Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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