dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You dont lie about slip and slides
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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