dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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