I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
