I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize