I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
