Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Randomize
