Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You took a bar mat shot.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
