on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
