Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
