bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
