I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Is it because I queefed?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
