She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
