They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
