i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
