Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Operation Purity has been aborted
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
