Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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