she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
