I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
