oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
