i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
