this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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