I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
