If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
