$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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