he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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