Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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