I think i peed on brittanys purse
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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