So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
