The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
