Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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