i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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