no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
