Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
