Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
