That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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