I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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