they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
40s are totally the cure
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
