Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
