jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
