i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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