If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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