Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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