no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well you can't waste a boner
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize