You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
