She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
