i dont even know how to be here
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You had me at "let me see your balls"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
