You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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