So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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