Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
is it fun? or sober?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
