Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize